What can turn my heart into mush?

This little baby right here.

Too bad he isn’t mine.

So just recently, I determinedly embarked on a Maltese Hunt on the Web. And, unless anybody has $600 dollars and a kind heart, then no, I won’t be cuddling a little puppy of my own any time soon. I did, however, stumble upon a few “Free Maltese for Adoption” ads. And being the desperate and too-excited searcher that I was, I responded to two of these posts.

The first response I got was from someone named Basile Lampard of California, who gushed about his well-trained, registered, house-broken, potty-trained puppies who love the companion of grown-ups, kids and other house hold pets. The puppy will be shipped to me along with some toys, health guarantee, crate, papers and even a food menu! All I had to do was pay for the shipping costs.

I was floored: this was a wonderful deal! He even wanted to make sure if my home was a dog-friendly one, and if I knew the basic care and attention that a maltese needs. He proceeded to tell me that he wouldn’t even think of giving up his babies, but he was on ‘a volunteer mission for the WHO on the eradication of the malaria parasite on pregnant women in a small country called Cameroon’.

I hurriedly e-mailed back, commending him on his worthy cause, and asking for a bit more details and some pictures, as well as an estimate of how much I need to pay. I was also concerned if it will actually be okay to ship the puppy. I hit send and excitedly waited for the return mail, hoping that nobody else had beat me to this great deal.
A few minutes after I sent my response, another e-mail came-this time from the other ad that I replied to. Lo and behold, here was this other guy (named Sanjo, I believe) who was also a volunteer worker stationed in Cameroon and was willing to ship his puppies to me, as long as I shoulder at least $300 of shipping costs.

Since when have Maltese owners shared the characteristics of extremely generous hearts and some sort of noble calling to volunteer in far-flung places (very particularly, Cameroon)? Do I eventually need to volunteer there too if I get a Maltese?

Google gave me more than 118,000 results saying that this whole thing is one big, furry scam. Maltese, Yorkies, bulldogs, Daschunds, chihuahuas, poodles–name it, it’s in that little country of Cameroon. Cats, ferrets and other pets are also available. (Why they picked this particular country, I have no idea.)

With this, I resigned myself to the fact that if I wanted a maltese, I’d have to find a legit breeder and save up for it. I guess this is another addition to the list of Things I Must Buy Once I Have Regular Paychecks.

On a happier note, my Maltese Hunt also allowed me to stumble upon Dog Is A God. It features designs for ‘six exclusive dog houses for just as exclusive dogs’ from 35-year-old Italian designer Marco Morosini.

Morosini has chosen to become an animal designer, creating temples for four-legged gods: tailor-made habitats created in the likeness of those of man and designed for their different attitudes and lifestyles.

If I were a dog, I’d find the houses a bit uncomfortable and weird, and I’d hold a bit of a grudge for my owner if he/she makes me stay in there. This one’s my favorite, although don’t you think it will make the pup feel that it’s living with ten other dogs inside?

Here are the five other designs:

• Good Life – The weirdest of all six. If you have a dog that prefers sitting to lying down, then this might work.
• Nomad Dog’s House – If I were a kid, I’d have fun pulling my pet around all day. Great for kids, can induce nausea in dogs.
• Temple Dog’s House – Inculturate your puppy. Make him Chinese. Turn him religious. Or simply confuse him with the three doors.
• Transparent Dog’s House – Minimalist dogs and owners rejoice! Although this won’t be pretty if his little ‘accident’ happens here.
• Dooog’s House – TOO CUTE! Dooog, get it? (But now that I think about it, it looks more for a Snaaake than anything else.)

I have no idea how much these cost, but I’m betting it’ll be more than a few Cameroon dogs combined.